Once upon a time, men could see a picture move by turning a wheel and by peeping through a hole. Anyone doing this would be using a Zoetrope and considered it to be a miracle. Nowadays you only have to press a button and whether it’s on your phone, computer, tv, handheld , tablet or mp3-player pictures start moving and a movie is playing right in front of your eyes.
A lot has happened since the Zoetrope and we are never satisfied. Black and white turned into color, and just a couple of television channels turned into a bunch and that bunch turned into an overload. Grainy film turned into smooth HD and the fact that we need to develop a film is long past us. When I was younger I always imagined what the reactions would be if we’d show Jurassic Park to people living in the year 1896. This specific year the film “L’arrivée d’un train en gare de La Ciotat” by the brothers Lumieré was first shown and it showed nothing more than a train arriving at a trainstation. People in the cinema got up from their seats and ran away as the train approached, afraid that it would wreak havoc amonst the members of the audience. I just wondered what a 40 feet T-rex would do to them. It would be new to them, but I guess after watching it a few times they would become used to it.
The movie revolution went faster than we sometimes wanted. VHS became DVD and from there on we jumped to Blu-ray. Which brings me to the fact that I recently bought a new television that turned out to be a 3d one. I must say that I am not a big fan of the whole 3d turn the movie world is taking right now. It’s fun to watch a 3d movie in an amusement park or maybe once a year in a cinema but the growing fear I have that 3d will take over traditional ways of watching movies is bigger than the fun factor it brings.
The fear for 3d became even bigger when I downloaded 3d porn. My biggest fear was about to become reality and pretty soon a big penis was waving in front of me and seemed to be floating above the livingroom table that stands in front of my television. I don’t know what other things television land has in store for us, but I still wake up screaming with the thought that this erect monstrosity can become more real.
Director Peter Jackson is the only danger at the moment. He is now filming “the Hobbit” with the 48 frame technology. Movies are generally shot in 24 frames per second and Peter Jackson doubled the amount of frames per second, telling us that he’ll create an image that is more lifelike and easier to watch in 3d. Not so long ago, that same Peter Jackson showed the first 10 minutes to a test audience consisting of people from the industry. They all had the same conclusion, the 48 frame technology created a fake middle earth looking as if you were watching the set and thus looked nothing like the atmospheric middle earth we knew from the lord of the rings trilogy. Peter Jackson waved everything away and said it’s just something you need to get used to. Just something people need to watch for a while and then forget it’s there.
Peter Jackson is right but also a bit stubborn. You’ll get used to everything if you watch it long enough but that doesn’t mean it’s an improvement. I hardly see the floating humongous cock above my livingroom table anymore. But I think that most people that visit me would agree: “The fact that you don’t notice the floating cock in your livingroom anymore doesn’t mean it complemented the interior in the first place!”