For a movie fan there is no greater satisfaction than a generously filled shelf with movies. It’s even better if you have complete closets filled with those shiny little discs we call dvds or blu rays. One of my friends had to build the damn construction with his own hands simply because they didn’t have closets that could fit his rediculous amount of dvds. And I don’t even want to know what the house of our dear movie reviewer Paul Knoop looks like.
Once all the shelves are filled what are we movie fans doing with the movies we collected? Ofcourse we watch them, but every once in a while. Most likely we already saw the movies we bought because who is willing to pay 30 euro’s (45 Dollars) for a movie that they didn’t see. (Again probably Mr Knoop is). Instead of using the discs for their intended purpose we use the shelves as a trophy. When I visit my friends house there is one part of the livingroom that never has sunlight simply due to the fact that it’s rays are blocked by the huge monstrosity. For hours we can stand in front of it and watch the alphabetized titles and discuss movie bussisnes.
I once had a dvd collection too. I still have it but it’s now in boxes so it lost it’s purpose of being a trophy. I didn’t buy a dvd for such a long time that I can never catch up with my friend Maarten anymore. We all know that a 2nd place throphy is never good to show off with. Anyway I am losing track of where I originally wanted to go to in this blog. The movies I had on the shelves in my closet looked good. I had about 500 at one point and although my friend Maarten and Mr Knoop are long past this amount it’s still impressive. You could watch the sides of all the dvd boxes and see where was what.
When the first Harry Potter came out I bought it on dvd. I bought the special edition since it was a movie packed with special effects and as a movie lover that is what you do. By the time the second part came out I did the same, bought the special edition and I placed it next it’s predecessor. From a distance I could already imagine a beautifull eight part Harry Potter collection standing between 500 other dvd’s but easily recognizable by it’s black cover and the light Warner Brothers sign. When the 3rd part came out I again bought the 2-disc special edition, took a bus home, opened my closet and placed the dvd on the shelf.
I heard something snap. It was probably the big vain on my forehead I have when I tend to get really really angry. I could feel the damn thing pulse on my now red forehead. I was raging. There it was the 3rd part in the Harry Potter series standing next to part 2. Same movie, same company but there was only one thing different. The Warner Brothers logo was placed just a tiny bit higher than before. It looked rediculous now. It’s when you have a car and the guy that is placing a new door on the passengers side just changes the colour red a little bit. Rediculous. When you are going to a barbershop asking for a haircut and afterwards it turns out the barber cut your sideburns uneven, same thing. It’s like the sound of a dripping tap you almost can’t hear it but once you do it’s impossible to ignore.
I just can’t seem to wrap my thoughts about the fact that at a big company like Warner Brothers there is a guy, or maybe a team of guys, or women designing covers for the dvds and there is nobody that checks them afterwards. It must be a complete idiot that designed the Harry Potter cover. The first two covers basicly had the same structure so there must be one photoshop files that has already the blueprint for the front, the side and the back of the cover. Of course this Is a blog and maybe there is a smile on your face whilst reading what crazy story I wrote down this time again. But this genuinly makes me so angry. It’s been already a couple of years ago and the collection of dvd’s is in boxes, but it still gets the good old vain poppin’ and boppin’ around on my forehead.
Since that day on I get down on my knees and pray every single night for my good friend Maarten. Praying that his closet, his shelves that are crafted to perfection will stay filled with evenly designed dvd covers. I discovered that it will take maybe 500 dvd’s to create an impressive collection to show off with, but that it will take only one idiot hollywood dvd cover designer to make the whole thing crumble like a house of cards.
PS: Just a warning ahead already, in september this year the designer morons/mafiosi will strike again. You will be able to buy an awesome James Bond collection with probably a free spot for when Skyfall is being released on dvd or blu ray. Don’t bother buying it. When a new James Bond will be released in the future your collection is not complete anymore and you are left with a nicely designed James Bond box for dvds without place for, yep your new James bond dvd.