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Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter (2012)

Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them.

First things first: when the above three lines of text are the gut of your story, you know what to expect.
And too be honest, going into the theatre a few days ago, I thought I was one up on the whole thing. Directed by Timur Bekmambetov, who made the Angelina Jolie action movie ‘Wanted’ as well as the vampire movies ‘Night Watch’ and ‘Day Watch’, the least I could expect where some nice visuals.

We start out by meeting our young antagonist: Abey Lincoln himself. Immediately shown as he stands up for the rights of a little black kid, we soon move on to his first encounter with a vampire, when his mother is killed by one. Fuelled by hate he plans to get the killer and in the process meets up with Henry Sturges (Dominic Cooper) who teaches him into the art of killing vampires.

From here on out it’s basically a by the numbers story, from his early days of learning the vampire killing trade, into making it as a president. But before I move onto that, the first part of the movie was definitely the best. The effects where nice, the acting a bit stiff, but it all still jived for me. It wasn’t great, but at least it was enjoyable. The vampires are actually quite menacing and scary, and coming from someone who loves horror, I think that’s a compliment towards mr. Bekmambatov. However, once the story starts adding the political career of Mr. Lincoln to the mix, it falls apart quite rapidly. His political rise has been handled very abrupt. And when I say abrupt, I mean that people (including me and my girlfriend) where actually looking at eachother to check if we hadn’t missed a part.

Ofcourse, I wasn’t expecting anything towards the likes of what Steven Spielberg is currently working on with Mr. Daniel Day-Lewis. But it would have been nice if they could at least eased us into his whole rise to be the president. Unfortunately, the vampire story takes a wrong turn as well, as the scope is suddenly heightened from individual vampires roaming America, into a global threat which tries to take over the world. Even though the movie clearly doesn’t take itself seriously, and Benjamin gives a relatively good performance as Lincoln, it’s mediocre cinema at best.

So, where does this leave us?
I can’t really spur you on to run towards the nearest cinema, pay too much money to see it in 3d (which adds nothing) and be bored from the midway point until the end. So I won’t.
Keep your money in your pockets for the Blu-ray of ‘Intouchables’, that’s money well spent.

5/10 stars!

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