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Dear Robert | JK’s Movie Blog

Dear Robert,
Hello Mr De Niro, or can I call you Robert? If I cant I’d like to apologize for the way I addressed you in the header of my letter. Maybe Bobby is a good alternative since I heard a lot of people refer to you in that way. Perhaps I don’t know you good enough to call you that way but I since I have to decide pretty quick since this introduction is getting longer and longer I will just keep it at Bobby.

For a couple of years now I have the urge to write you this letter. I am very worried about your well-being and since I am one of your biggest fans I can’t help but ask how you are doing. I know you are getting older and it’s not this I am worried about. Soon you will be turning 70 and the amount of movies you made are almost matching your age. Don’t worry about the age thing though, your colleague Christopher Lee is almost 20 years older and by the end of this year we can see him as Saruman in “the Hobbit” again.

But back to my worries again. It seems that after “Meet the Parents”, which I liked by the way, you seem to make terrible movie choices. I am just so confused. How can somebody from you caliber pick movie scripts like that. Do you pick them like a little kid picks books in a library? Just by looking at the title and the cover? I just don’t understand. And what was this “Righteous Kill” all about? The Bobby de Niro from the 90’s would not even think about starring in a movie alongside Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson. What’s the matter with you!? And don’t even get me started about “Little Fockers”.

I long for the time you were acting like a fighter jet. Fast, explosive and making quick turns, you know old school method acting. It seems you are putting your acting skills on autopilot and just fly towards the end. Why do you think the Golden Globes gave you the lifetime achievement award in 2011? They want to get it over with. What is a lifetime achievement award worth when the clip they will be showing at the award ceremony contains a burned out candle for the last few minutes? I read on the internet that “Raging Bull 2” is in production. A movie that is doomed to fail before it is even shot, therefor I was surprised that I didn’t see your name on the credits.

I was in shock and awe yesterday when I read that you’ve got a movie scheduled for this year called “Freelancer” where you’re co-starring alongside 50 cent again. I saw the movie will hit the cinema in august, 2 weeks before its release on dvd. When a movie will be in a selected amount of cinemas for 2 weeks only, I rest my case. This is one step before it goes straight to dvd. I suggest that you do with your acting the same as what I will do now with this letter. Stop it! Before it becomes to boring to watch and an insult to your fans.

Sincerely yours,

Your biggest fan.

 

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